This is a very common question, sometimes unspoken question that many people have while they are in therapy. And this doubt is usually accompanied by fear; fear of depending on the relationship with someone who cares for you, who is invested in your wellbeing.
Many people have learnt how to be independent very early in life, even before they had the capacity to look after themselves. Parents/caretakers were too busy or too preoccupied with their own lives, and these children reached to the conclusion that ‘nobody is there for me, I can only rely on myself’. They learn how to work hard, how to be strong, how not to feel and not to need anything in order to survive. Being independent, self-sufficient was a survival strategy for those little kids. Then they grow up and they continue relying on that old strategy, which was created by a child. A strategy that served so well for that little kid is now creating conflicts in the adult mind.
As an adult, they feel lonely; they have difficulty in creating and maintaining relationships, difficulty to trust and difficulty to connect with themselves, because their feelings and their needs have long ago been repressed.
Psychotherapy will help you to make contact with those repressed feelings and unmet needs from childhood, the natural need to have someone wise, strong, stable (usually the parent), who they could depend on, they could admire and rely on.
So dependency is the therapeutic relationship is a natural momentary process, sometimes necessary in order to grow and separate as a stable, confident and complete person.
The initial assessment is an opportunity for both of us to know about the other. This is a mutual assessment of each other. I will listen to you and ask few questions to help me understand you. I will answer questions that you may have about my qualifications, my ethical approach and others.
We will discuss appointment times and confidentiality.
By the end of this initial assessment we will have a better understanding of each other and know if we can work together.
I usually see clients once or twice a week, depending on each one’s need. So you will be able to choose the number of sessions you want to have per week. Then I will provide you with a regular time and day for your sessions. Each session last 50 minutes.
Couple therapy, also called marriage counselling is a form of therapy to help couples (same sex, different sex, married or not married) resolve conflicts and improve their relationship. There are times in the relationship when partners are no longer able to communicate without escalating in anger or criticism and therefore are not able to have their needs met. Couple therapy/Marriage counselling will help this couple to learn new ways of communicating and will provide them with a safe space in which their emotions will be contained. During therapy, each one will be given the opportunity to discuss their thoughts and feelings, to express their likes and dislikes, without the fear of being criticised or humiliated.